Mora, I’m sorry. I didn’t know how this machine worked.

jumpingjacktrash:

the-real-seebs:

artykyn:

prideling:

gunvolt:

im going to have a stroke

Instead try…

Person A: You know… the thing
Person B: The “thing”?
Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING ROD

As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed:

Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.

Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”

Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.

Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.

Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.

Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.

Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!”

Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.”

Yeah. I would get completely stuck sometimes because I’d have a thing I had a word for only in one language, or I’d just embed words. “I think we’re out of kai shui.” Well, I know what I meant.

sometimes i wish you swore in mandarin like on firefly

i think that would be cool

when i visited the Gallyhouse last year i was so jet-lagged and so deep in my year-long depressive episode that poor @lame-gamer-kensou asked me a question and I started prattling an answer in half-asleep portuguese for at least half a minute

i was so out of it i actually remember neither question nor answer

skyrim gothic

flcurdelacour:

you need to deliver a staff to enthir. what staff? who is enthir? it’s been so long since you were asked to deliver this staff. it remains in your inventory, though you do not remember where you got it. you know exactly where enthir is, though you do not remember his face.

the waterfalls have stopped working. you seem them in the distance, still, unmoving. you can hear the crashing of the water, but it is frozen in place. the locals do not notice.

you open a book. restoration increased to 100. you open another book. enchanting increased to 100. you spend only a few minutes in this library, and leave as an all-powerful being.

you realise that you have only ever heard the same five voices. everyone you meet starts to sound so alike. you have killed many people who screamed in your wife’s voice.

you have never seen a dunmer child. you have never seen any elf child, in fact. the only children here are nords. you soon realise that their faces look exactly alike. even the eyes, you notice. they are wide and afraid.

you have seen many dragons crash straight into mountains. you have seen fewer dragons emerge from the mountains.

you have forgotten the songs of your hometown. the melodies faded from your memory long ago. you try to ask the local bard to play your favourite childhood song. you try so hard. your memories escape you. you have only ever heard five songs. you ask him to play ragnar the red.