I had a very David Lynch-inspired dream… I was offered a cup of coffee by A Mysterious Entity that I remember nothing about, and was pleasantly surprised by the flavor.
“Funny,” I said. “I don’t usually drink my coffee black, but this isn’t bad.”
The Entity began to laugh. “That’s not coffee you’re drinking,” it said, darkly.
I paused with the mug to my lips as horror slowly dawned on me. Then something inside my head shrugged, said ‘fuck it’, and tipped the mug back. I did not blink or break eye contact with The Entity as I slowly chugged whatever nightmarish substance it had given me.
There was an awkward silence, and The Entity cleared its throat uncomfortably.
Narrator voiceover: “Down here, salt is a way of life.” Glasses: “Obviously the environment down here is all salt. The ceiling is salt, the floor is salt, the walls are salt, and, to an extent, the air is salt. And you breathe that in, and you can constantly taste the salt.”
Listen I don’t care what the Boruto manga says Naruto is everyones dad and he’s super invested. Shows up to all the academy PTA meetings. Sits in the front row to cheer on Inojin at the spelling bee. Has tea parties with Himawari and her stuffed animals. Hosts Sarada’s favorite book club every thursday night. Oh Shikadai fucked up? Shikamaru, Temari, and Naruto are very disappointed.
We Are What We Feel 